GNSA Bulletin: October 2026

This Month’s Highlight: Perfectionism and Self-Sacrifice Inhibit Connection and Community

It is not the sole job of one motivated leader to create equity and belonging in an organization or team. Leaders in nursing (e.g., all members of the GNSA) are often motivated and/or expected to foster these values and be community builders. We believe that strong relationships, teamwork, and equitable opportunity lead to healthy workplaces, which in turn create the change we want to see in the discipline of nursing and the best health outcomes for the populations we serve. However, it can be incredibly daunting when you enter a new role and realize just how much work needs to be done and just how far there is to go. Perhaps the culture in your workplace or organization feels far from welcoming or inclusive. Or, you feel that there’s so much other work to be done that taking time to build community feels like a luxury you cannot afford. This can be devastatingly discouraging. It can make it feel as though there is no way to create change. I wanted to write this short bulletin introduction this month to give our highly motivated GNSA members an especially important reminder: A community is rarely built or changed entirely by one individual. In fact, a community, by definition, cannot be built by one person. This is an unrealistic expectation to have of anyone, much less yourself. If nurse leaders are to build community, then they must do it together.

Unfortunately, nurses are especially prone to feeling personally responsible for the wellbeing of others. This is often discussed in the context of how we care for our patients - we need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of them. I believe many nurses are already aware of this fact, and that many are aware of the “put your own mask on first” mentality, though we may each be implementing it to varying degrees of success. Generationally, many of us have seen that newer nurses may be better at holding these kinds of boundaries. For graduate nursing students in particular, however, I worry about a slightly different kind of challenge as they enter any kind of leadership role. Suddenly, there is a feeling of “well, leadership is different - I have to make sacrifices for my team.” As a leader, you might continue to remind others to care for themselves so that they can be okay - you encourage others to ask for help - but those lessons fall away for you as you demand more from yourself than anyone else.

This is where I think our expectation adjustments may be the most necessary. You enter a role with high hopes to make it all better - and then you are discouraged when it feels too big to solve. After all, it’s very disheartening to see a team or workplace that is struggling to build community, has weak teamwork, or is not inclusive. I assert that for deeply caring nurses, this can be a form of moral injury in and of itself - it is very painful to watch our fellow nurses struggle to connect with one another and themselves while systemic issues constrain their ability to do it differently. To feel as though you are helpless to address it as a leader can lead to a sense of guilt and disappointment, which is also the perfect fuel for burnout. You could also be struggling with perfectionism or “all-or-nothing” thinking - it may feel like if you can’t fix it all, then it might not be worth trying.

If this feels like I’m describing you, I would like to offer a gentle critique for reflection (I may or may not be speaking from experience): How connected can you actually be to your team or community if you think you are responsible for handling all those things perfectly on your own? Isn’t that a bit ironic? What good is a community where the leader is required to be a lone wolf? Connection comes from connection, not from self-sacrifice. No matter how well-intentioned or selfless we may aim to be, sacrifice is unlikely to be the thing that fosters community. In fact, constant self-sacrifice may only ultimately make you frustrated with others who have stronger boundaries about how much energy they can give up. Perfectionist leaders may only make themselves feel more inaccessible and disconnected - no matter how desperately they wish for a connected, welcoming, equitable community.

Asking for help, on the other hand, does foster community. Give people in your teams, workplaces, or organizations the opportunity to see you as a human being who needs support. By setting an example, you can give others the opportunity to connect with you as a leader and for them to be more vulnerable in their own way. It can also foster equity in a team: knowing how to let yourself be vulnerable can reduce the sense of imbalance that comes with traditionally hierarchical leadership models.

While I certainly don’t have the answers to all of it, I think we can start by acknowledging that we can avoid burnout and demonstrate a more sustainable, present kind of leadership if we expect at least a little bit less from ourselves. It’s important to have standards, of course - but your inaccessibly high standards for yourself may be creating even more distance between you and those you hope to lead. Accept and celebrate seemingly small, incremental changes - these set the stage for the whole team to build up their self-efficacy when they see the wins. Be fallible. Humility and the relatability of being an imperfect person are great ways to be an accessible leader. Don’t be a hero - be a neighbor, be a teammate, and be a human.

Tyler Gaedecke, PhD, RN
Post-Doctoral Research Fellow
Columbia University
GNSA Leadership Council Advisor